More of Dave Barry's Greatest Hits (Unabridged)

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For a new look at urban professionals and toilets, turn to none other than Dave Barry, a veritable expert on the underside of American culture. He shares his thoughts on a band he's considering forming, called the Urban Professionals: "This will be the kind of band whose members often miss practice for periodontal reasons and are always yelling at their kids for leaving Popsicles on the amplifiers....I will be lead guitar." He also takes on household plumbing: "You know those strange sounds your plumbing makes at night?...Those are your toilets, talking to each other....'It's New Year's Eve,' they'll say. 'We break tonight.'" Hear these and other opinions from the man that The New York Times, in a rare burst of good humor, called "the funniest man in America."

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